On Purpose: Fulfillment
I'm having such a challenge pulling the trigger on this project. I'm of two minds about it. One is the familiar voice in my head that says no one will care, and this will be another colossal waste of time when I really need to be making money.
The other, quieter voice says, why not just do it in the exact way you want to do it? Maybe the fact that no one is listening can be freeing. I've been so scared to use my voice and talk freely about things that matter to me. To give myself a platform to do that, whether or not anyone tunes in, isn't that valuable enough?
My fear of using my voice, of speaking about the things I care about, I know where it comes from. Logically I understand it. And I've done a ton to get through my fears. But this is another threshold. It's as though I tell myself I really have to justify speaking up or else I should stay quiet. It's like I'm not allowing myself permission to speak freely, in a way that others can hear. I'm not allowing myself. But I've been drawn to watching people who are authentically themselves without second guessing, sharing silly things just because. Just because they enjoy it. And I enjoy that.
I don't know how I'm going to gather the courage to continue with this project, but I'm working on it.